Mar 18, 2014

always leaving but never arriving


"Always leaving, but never arriving...", and thus the Greek story teller concluded with this remark. These words stuck with me; they reverberated in the background quite like the bass in a music composition - low on frequency, pulsating, subtle but nevertheless important for rhythm, for cue. The bass played even when the other (more talented) story tellers occupied the stage, and when he was cycling back home in a cold dark foggy night, and while brushing his teeth, and while lying wide awake before hitting the hay. Pretty sure he dreamt of it too because he woke up paraphrasing.
Some phrases, perhaps memory of some inane situations, some less than ordinary conversations stick with us because somewhere they open up a barrier or two, speak to us about our unknown selves, better our understanding (by impelling us to think out of our comfort zone) or may be they are just some elusive reminders of our gradual conditioning.
"Always leaving but never arriving' - he felt like a train, running through the same route, crossing same stations, living more or less same set of situations, always leaving for some place but never really arriving with a contented heart and satiated soul, since the next destination awaits much before the last journey ends.
However, 'arrival' I believe is always a choice, though seldom the easiest...

Best,
Kannav

Nov 5, 2013

romanticism vs freedom

That man on Ted stage... I want to be him as well. With that charismatic smile, twinkling eyes and a powerful speech, I am once again swayed into being somebody else or at least romanticizing being him. Yesterday, it was an artist who was living a life of a nomad far away from the clutches of rat race. A day before, it was that adventurer who had rowed unsupported for straight 45 days to cross the ocean. Lest this pattern breaks, I am going to be many personalities with multiple faces day after day. Only, once a man is comfortable in his own skin, does not to impress, loves what he does and does what he loves, and realizes that it ain't about the society polished conformist rather a compassionate heart and fearless spirit, will he break thru the vicious patterns. Only then will he be infinite..
love,
kannav

the infinite

This life, these thoughts, the ideas, passions and originalities have been lived not just once. The present, the world, the stars, galaxies and universe; no, mistake not, for these are not the only ones. What I think is my life and you think is yours, is but a continuum where all is one and one is all. It's just like an infinite ever flowing river, devoid of the concept of time, or of any source and goal. 
It just flows... quite like you, quite like me...
Cheers,
-Kannav

May 12, 2013

Golden silences..

There was a call on her phone which left her jittery. The room was dimly lit, rather the only light source was the TV which had been paused; just like everything else... Paused... She got up to leave saying little for words were, more often, a mere superfluity between us. She twitched the door knob and then stood there looking at me. In all her confusion I saw the longing she never mentioned, the love that never came about. We had had our share of treasurable silences, but this one was special, this one was complete. In the next moment she left, looking back till I was out of sight, but we both knew that she hadn't......

Apr 17, 2013

what are we doing here?

"What are we doing here?", she had asked, part curious and part frustrated owing to discontentment. Her context with 'here' was different than mine; still it didn't count for none of us had any answers.
What am I actually doing here: A robot whiling away through a mechanical life, infinitely looping through patterns, routines, pretensions, some unfulfilled desires, few fulfilled passions, running a race against time, against 'them', against myself. 
But there are times when I do have an answer to this, and ironically in those moments the question doesn't matter, the 'I' doesn't, the time doesn't and the language doesn't. In those moments.... well forget it.... it doesn't matter... :)
Love,
-Kannav

Dec 12, 2012

The answer lies in...

If knowledge and information could take you any further, wouldn't you have arrived by now? Instead you are sitting on a pile of confusions guarded by an ominous comfort zone mechanically whiling away through life..
Close your eyes, empty your head and spread your wings, and with a heart full of love, take that plunge, for THE ANSWER MY FRIEND LIES IN THE UNKNOWN.
Much love,

Kannav

Aug 25, 2012

lifelike refuge

The space around me becomes hazy and distant like everything is hurrying through a funnel and falling into infinite emptiness... goals, looping thoughts, insecure attachments, exponentially increasing desires..all the useless product of mind I mean: they all seem insignificant now, rather laughable.. I recede into that place again where many a time I take refuge. It's like a warm cave in Himalayas or a boat in a lagoon on a moonlit night.. here even silence has a sound, I perceive the energy traveling as vibrations, here, I too am an energy only, or a wave, resonating in unison with the nature..
Just then something rings in my pocket.. I am transported back; it's the reminder on my BlackBerry for the sales meeting in next 15 minutes..
- Vikas

'Savan Durga' hangover

Atop that hillock far beyond the civilization, I wish through the eyes of the soul you saw, what I saw.. Felt the immaculate peace just as I felt.. Enjoyed the pain and smiled at the bruises, especially of the heart.. I wish if you too, in that moment, could sense the worldly chatter fade away into emptiness....and even only for a fleeting moment felt love that culminates into freedom..
- Kannav

Jul 15, 2012

विकल्प, बे-विकल्प

चला जा रहा हूँ मैं इन रास्तों पे, अपना भ्रम लिए की ये मेरे बनाए,
भूलता जा रहा हूँ ये राह ये मंज़िल, हैं मेरे नही पर परिस्थितियों के बाधित.

वो हौसला मैं जिसे अपना कह रहा हूँ, वो आँखों मे सपना भी मेरा नहीं है,
कुछ लोग मिले थे सफ़र बे-सफ़र, ये दिशा ये सोच उन्ही के दिए हैं.

अगर ना टकराते राहों में हम-तुम, तुम तुम ना होते, मैं मैं ना होता,
वो चाहत वो ख्वाब, बादल और ख़ुश्बू, वो दरिया का किनारा कुछ और ही होता.

नासमझ बन गया हूँ या सब समझ रहा हूँ, ये रस्में ये दुनिया भूलता जा रहा हूँ,
खुशी का हो प्याला या गम की लहर, ए ज़िंदगी तुझे मैं जिये जा रहा हूँ.


शुक्रिया,
विकास

Jun 13, 2012

May 22, 2012

golden silence

...for he who knows the truth dwells and rejoices in the beauty of silence :).
Stay blessed,
Kannav

Mar 13, 2012

and it rained

Oh dear rain, the language of the nature, drench me to my bones and soak my soul.. Wash away the retrospective and so the prospective.. Fall and fall hard. Let that each rain drop quench the thirst of a mortal who has lived a thousand mirages..
Love,
Vikas

Mar 6, 2012

know not

I now know that most probably I will never know, and this knowing has made all the difference.
Love,
Vikas

Mar 4, 2012

believe in believing

Believe and believe hard.. Believe in yourself and equally in others, believe in your hard work and so in your fate. Believe when you are out and down, and stop not even when the foe is long gone. Believe not just in passion but through the mundanity of everyday. BELIEVE AND BE A PART OF MIRACLES.. :)
Much love,
Vikas
PS: If you don't believe in something DON'T DO IT!
10-Feb-2012

please think about it!

A man is but a prisoner of his mind, only the walls being imperceptible . The more he fears or clings to security or worse still blindly follows than listening to a passionate heart, the walls keep closing on him. Finally, comes a day when he can move no more, and thus ensues an exanimate journey where he whiles away his time in an already dead life.
Ironically, he remains oblivious to this cycle till his last breath. Such disgrace to a soul born free..!
Go live,
Vikas
8-Feb-2012

kids: bouquet of happiness

One of the greatest joys in life is when a baby rests on your shoulders, hugs you and sleeps or when he tightly holds your finger while walking woozily. Such happiness :)
Love,
Vikas
3-Feb-2012

goals of a mindless mind

okay, so what is this big idea about money and sex that this whole race is so over-ambitiously chasing? Grounding ones whole life around gratification so transient, planting the seed of fulfillment outside of oneself, gagging the inner voice for the jabber of a blasphemous society or seeking approval from the dispassionate..
We might be chasing goals, not dreams.. goals which are but a product of a mindless mind..
Love,
Vikas
24-Jan-2012

a lunatic in a wise world

They reason why do I comfort myself in wilderness than luxury, invest in friendship than material, value love over egoism.
In their world they call me mad and I thank god they don't approve, I am only glad :)
Your friend,
Vikas
3-Jan-2012

all heart no mind

Oftentimes I take my surroundings and the people I know to be absolute wholesome reality. Oftentimes I limit my frame of reference. Oftentimes I mistake a condition to last a lifetime... and occasionally to expiate, I walk a lonely shore, bury my mind into the sand and plunge my soul into the deep vast sea.
A very happy new year.
Lots of love,
Vikas
1-Jan-2012
[Inspired by Kahlil Gibran]

freedom

In search of FREEDOM I wandered north and south, thronged communes, dialogued with the learned, contemplated, read volumes but all this summated to so called wisdom... and that one day while walking in the woods with no agenda, no timeline, no mobile phone, no planning or pretension, immaculately peaceful I smiled to myself. I was aware of the trees and the mountains around, the sound of that stream, the birds chirping, oh, I was one with the forest.... In that moment I was FREE.. :)
Freedom is nothing but the present moment everything else is mere imagination.
Love,
Vikas
20-Dec-2011

Feb 29, 2012

nothing else matters

Beyond wrong choices and the right ones, after those societal wins and defeats all that will be left is the hearts I touched and the things I stood for.
Love today and always,
Vikas
16-Dec-2011

a shrinking circle

[random thoughts in the shower :)]
I must have been a kid when I had started building these walls around myself. Every time I failed a test, got laughed at for being myself, got pushed around to forcefully compete or love failed me, I reacted and naturally more walls ensued.
Clock kept ticking, life kept happening, cautiousness kept increasing, innocence kept eroding and oh, the walls.... more of them kept coming.
The walls are at an arm distance now. No more can the bird spread it's wings, no more can it fly fearlessly in the sky!
Love,
Vikas
14-Dec-2011

हसीन गलतफ़हमी

dhoondta raha sacchai ko sacchai se hi saal dar saal har raah har dagar, aur phir us din jab sacchai se saamna hua to laga ki galatfemi kitni haseen aur kitni sacchi si thi.. aacha hota ye talaash adhoori hi reh jati...
Love,
Vikas
2-Dec-2011

a fall into nirvana

When I was climbing the mountain, they came, they conquered, they reigned, they finally succumbed to their own power. While I was still walking the woods, the same cycle succeeded with a different set of men having the same ego laden intentions.
Now, as I stand on the cliff many a yard above the ocean I again hear those familiar frenetic foot steps, I smell the same blood soaked hunger. This time I'll take a plunge into the infinite never to come back again.
Love,
Vikas
24-Nov-2011

अत्यल्प लम्हे

Scribbling after listening to some soulful music:
Is andhii daud main hazaroon ke beech ek bhatka hua katra hun main. Girta hun, sambhalta hun aur dobara girne tak bahut josh se daudta hun; aur phir achanak deti hai wahi pyas dil par dastaq, kabhi sangeet ban kar, kabhi baarish, kabhi kavita to kabhi kisi bache ki bematlab muskurahat ke roop main. Ruk jati hai zindagi aaise chand lamhon main ya main ye kahun ki in chand lamhon main muthhi bhar zindagi jee leta hun main..
Love,
Vikas
13-Nov-2011

continuance

It is a deja vu; I have the memory of the same thoughts, same patterns from yesterday and the week before and a month before and since what seems like forever. Sure the tangents have changed but my plane hasn't, my situations have changed but my perception hasn't. I am still a slave of my habits and passions, I still mistake my body and emotions to be me.
Shake me, hit me, crucify me to bring me back to life.
Much Love,
Vikas
8th-Nov-2011

choice? No thanks!

If you will, the advancement of our civilization may well be fathomed by the plethora of choices available to us even in the most trivial of decisions. But mind you, where our physical comforts may have been easy to come by, our mental-prowess/commitment/focus/single-mindedness have all taken a big hit in the bargain. Until one is rock-willed or has a wisdom of god, choice after all may not be such a good thing.
Love,
Vikas
7th-Nov-2011

freedom or 'I'?

Only one of these two will inhabit within us: Our "I" or the eternal-real-happiness (not fleeting pleasures). Once this is realized and chewed over, the choice of who stays is but easy :).
Love,
Vikas
6-Nov-2011

परिस्थिति

Aye uljhuae hue sawaal, mere maikadae ke saki, ya to de koi suraag ki tera jawaab mil jaye ya le le mujhse mere ye khwaab bhi ki jawaab ki pyaas na rahe.
Love,
Vikas
14-Oct-2011

Feb 19, 2012

God, thank you

God and I have an understanding, He exempts me from my prayers and visits to temples as long as I give 100% percent in everything I do.
Love,
Vikas
27-Sept-2011

कुछ लम्हे

scribblings in the middle of the night:
Jazbaton se, chup raton se, gum neendon se, in aankhon se kuch khwaab hain jhaankte,
barsoon se andhi daud bhaag rahe us shaks se kuch jawab hain wo maangte.
Poochte hain kabhi meri zindagi se ki ye zindagi kya hai, to kabhi palkon ko nam kar zindagi ko zindagi hain ye de jate.
Jeena isi ka naam hai,
Vikas
25-Sept-2011

complementaries

What good is an art without passion, an act without virtue, a heart without love or a life without cycling :).
Love,
Vikas
21-Sept-2011

your choice

Either pedal or perish :).
Keep riding,
Vikas
16-Sept-2011

being logical is illogical

The more I try to find logic the more I believe in miracles. Such abound beauty, the mother nature cannot be summed up with a couple of laws and some numbers.
Love,
Vikas
9-Sept-2011

looking for answers? trust Mother Nature...

Why they want what they want? When ego and greed have never fathered freedom then what is the mankind running frantically after? And so it started pouring while I was still in the woods. Ah! Silly me, I soaked into the abound beauty of mother nature. No questions remained, everything dissolved; including 'I' :).
Love,
Vikas
5-Sept-2011

Feb 18, 2012

'careful'? No, thanks!

....and then I became 'careful' in life. Careful from the their recklessness, seeing the society with the glasses of incredulity, loosing innocence in the wake of it's hidden motives. And now I question if questioning my naivety and slowly letting it evaporate was such a good idea. I'd rather be hurt and live in an illusion than be heavily laden with worldliness.
Love always,
Vikas
25-Aug-2011

it always comes down to a simple choice

In the middle of a bad consequence causing anguish, pain and confusion it's only human to dig the past and see it through the eyes of nostalgia or, be strongly tempted to elope in dreams of a make-believe future. Trust me, if you can hold your ground now, if you can pull yourself up and refuse to succumb, if you can look right into the eyes of the adversity yours is this world my friend and everything that moves it.
Love,
Vikas
23-Aug-2011

are you game?

mentations while biking:
If you are not the best in what you are doing then either you are playing too small or playing a wrong game.
Sweat it out,
Vikas
18-Aug-2011

another evening, another _____ ..

Sipping tea in his balcony with Ghalib's gazals in the background painting the ambiance blue, those familiar foot steps draw his attention. He pretends not to have taken notice though deep inside he has come alive just as a lost Gypsy finds a settlement in the middle of a desert. She comes and hugs him from behind, that known fragrance freshens the air, that known touch swamps his emptiness. They say nothing yet it's all said.
Just to make sure he pinches himself; alas, it doesn't hurt!
Love,
Vikas
7-Aug-2011

मन: स्थितिअ

thoughts on a rainy day:
Khamosh hai gamgeen hai, suljhano main ulajate hue. Wo betabiyan wo junoon aur mera swayam bhi pighalte hue. Phir aaj apna pratibimbh nazar aaya, phir se zindagi ne ye samjahaya ki fizool hi tu bhaagta hai auron ki khushion ke peeche, haanfta, nerashaand aur aapakesha se bharpoor. Do pal ki is zindagi main kuch lamhe khud ke liye bhi chura le, kuch geet likh, kuch gunguna khuli bahon se tu sab apnaa....
Go, live,
Vikas

5-Aug-2011

तुम

Sochta hun kai baar ye baithe tujhe phool kahun, tujhe chand kahun ya saavan ki bauchaar kahun. Kabhi lagti ho oos ki boond si to kabhi ek nadee, chanchal, beparwah, zindagi se bhari. Phir lagta hai tumhe seemit karna mumkin na hoga. Tum to apne jaisi ho, bas apne hi jaisi ho...
Yours,
Vikas
29-July-2011

headwind..?? why not!

Who better but a cyclist will tell you how the headwind seems to be ones greatest foe and tailwind ones best friend. But an experienced rider also knows that it's only the headwind that trains you to become a better athlete in the bargain, which makes you put in that extra effort today, something that will separate you from them on the judgement day.
Headwind is but what we call problems in life where YOU are the cyclist.
Keep riding,
Vikas
27-July-2011

झूठी जीत या सच्ची हार

Kya sthaan hai apne ahamm (ego) ka is zindagi main ye to shayad main tumhe bata na sakun, par ye zaroor keh sakta hun ki apno se uppar ahamm to kya, kuch bhi nahi hai, kuch bhi nahi.....
Lazmi hai ki tum sahi ho ya ho sakta hai ki theek honge way log, par kya karoge apni jeet ka jab wo apne tumhari hatth k chalte tumhare saath hokar bhi milon duur honge; pyase aur udaas. Is sansaar main jeet aur haar ki paribhasha shayad samay chalte badal gaye hai. Sahi mainay main kisi ki haar main apni jeet dhoondna aaj bhi haar hi hai.
Love,
Vikas
24-July-2011

खलल

Thoughts while commuting:
Uljhano ke is jaal main jahan yaadein aksar aaya jaya karti hain, aapakshayon ka ek toota maakan hai. Suna hai wahan kuch masoom khawab bhi rehte hain; masoom hi honge nahi to apni khushiyan khud hi main dhoond lete. Itne barson ho gaye ki ab ghar mujhme ya main ghar main, farak nahi lagta.....
Love,
Vikas
22-July-2011

attitude is everything!

post lunch thoughts:
You give me incompetence but a good attitude I will make a gem out of you. A competent but a bad-attitude man will survive but surely won't go as far. Fortunately or unfortunately, competence and good attitude come as a package. Few have both, most have none.
Die hard,
Vikas
19-July-2011

ये कैसी जीत...?

Nikal aaye hain bahut duur lekin shayad wo bachpana wo nirdoshita kahin raaste main chod aaye hain. Fikar karte hain un cheezon jinka hamare aaj se ya aane wale kal se koi vaasta nahi, ya agar hai to hona nahi chaiyae. So kar bhi sote nahi, jaag kar bhi jaagte nahi, jahan hain wahan hote nahi. Ye waqt hai shayad aapne hi aandar aapne astitav ko dhoondne ka.
Jiyo jee bhar ke,
Vikas
4-July-2011

Feb 15, 2012

अधूरे सपने

Ye Chandani raat, ghana kohra, kuch boonden aur tum. Dekh sakta hoon tumhe par mehsos nahi kar sakta, tumhari hassi ke saath ye aankhen bewafai si karti hui, sun na chahta hun bahut kuch par tum kuch kehte bhi to nahi. Kya tumhari ye ek aur shararat hai ya phir se wahi khawab dastak de raha hai. Khawab hi hai shayad, hamein haqikat main kadam rakhe to barson ho gaye...
Love,
Vikas
28-June-2011

as simple as that

No problem is big enough if I stay on it long enough with a resolve hard enough!
Cheers,
Vikas
24-June-2011

a choice so simple

don't compromise with life, or life will compromise with you. Stand for nothing but the best and guess what, that's what you get...
Love,
Vikas
10-June-2011

either learn or learn

Breakthrough lies in learning when you least want to learn. Learn from the learners and the one's who aren't. Learn to unlearn, and every time you don't act from your learning never forget to learn.
Love,
Vikas
10-June-2011